How to Be a Better Supervisor to Disabled People

This past school year, I was lucky enough to be supervised by someone who was the best person, I like a disabled person could ask for. I was inspired, in reflecting on the year, to write this post about things you can do to make your disabled employees/coworkers/students more comfortable and make your workplace less ableist. In all honesty, many of the suggestions I have included here, I would not have thought of had it not been for my experiences this year. For the purpose of this post, I am focusing on physical health, but of course physical and mental health are inextricably linked to one another and I would be happy to write a separate post specifically about mental health or neurodivergency.

1. Trust that they know their body best. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a hard time admitting that I am in pain and a hard time judging when I need to leave somewhere because of that pain. This is a common feature among those of us who are chronically ill, especially if our illnesses are invisible. Having to acquiesce to the pain feels like defeat and involves disclosing that something is wrong, often having to take down the mask that we put up to keep ourselves "professional." We are afraid of judgement and questioning especially because so many of us have spent so much of our lives just trying to be "seen" by the medical professionals and others around us. One of the most helpful things you can do is not question when someone says that they are in pain and need to do something to get them out of pain.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I had to leave an event because of nerve pain in my jaw and was pleasantly surprised (although I should not have been knowing this person) that I was immediately able to go home without any question. I actually started to try to qualify the pain and defend myself because I was so used to that being the direction people go in. Not being questioned was such a gift in that moment and felt like such a kindness even though I'm sure it did not feel like a big deal for her. On the other side, when a disabled person bounces back from a flair or tells you that they are fine to be at something, believe them then as well. Not believing someone in that situation may make them not want to tell you when they are feeling bad.

2. Be compassionately truthful

As someone with chronic fatigue, a very faulty autonomic immune system, and a host of other chronic health issues, it is important that I can budget my energy for work, school, and other tasks of life. It is not helpful when someone dismisses concerns about how much energy something would take by saying, "oh you'll be fine" (This is related to the person knowing their body best). While on my year in Israel, this happened so many times when people would reassure me that the outing wouldn't involve that much sitting or walking, and I would end up sick as a result. If something would be tiring for someone with a typical body, and you know that the person sitting in front of you has fatigue or other issues that can be exacerbated by exertion, tell them that. I never thought of this before my supervisor this year said it and I was so grateful to know that and be able to make accommodations around it. The opposite is also true, but if you are realistic about what the event/outing/retreat will entail, the disabled person can make their own choices. I think this is especially important for those of us who work jobs that don't just involve sitting behind a desk.

3. Be grateful for the energy they put in Honestly, any supervisor should thank their employees for the work that they are doing even if they are doing their job, but as someone with limited energy, I appreciate it even more. Working as a disabled person, in any capacity, is hard. There is a reason so many of us have a hard time finding work, and while I have been successful, that doesn't mean that there isn't a constant fear that a non-disabled employee would be easier to have. There was not a second this year when I felt like the work I did or the presence I had, no matter how little I felt like I was doing, wasn't appreciated. The basic kindness and reassurance in a workplace can be so helpful in a body that doesn't always work the way one wants it to.