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Writer's pictureEmily Dana

What Not to Say To Someone With A Chronic Illness: Reentry edition

  1. I am so happy not to ever have to work from home again. In so many ways, the pandemic showed us that it was possible to create accessible working environments. The thing is, chronically ill and disabled people have been asking for the options of remote work or flexible work hours for years before the pandemic hit. We worry that all of the more accessible ways to socialize and work will completely disappear once the majority of people are vaccinated and many of the offices are open again. While there were and are definitely downsides to working from home and especially the isolation that it brought with it, many of us are fearful that once the abled people of the world don't need the accessibility anymore it will all go away. And some of the disabled community will never be able to work outside of their homes due to anxiety issues, chronic pain, neurological issues, or any other conditions that I am probably forgetting.

  2. I can't wait to have a social life again. Sometimes this is intended to mean, "I can't wait to see you," but it doesn't always come across that way. For so many of us who deal with fatigue, it is much easier to have friendships that are conducted over the internet or phone. We only have so much energy and going places, even if we enjoy doing it, can take a lot out of us. I know it has been a relief when I am able to go to a friend's birthday party from the comfort of my own couch, knowing that at any point that I start to feel completely exhausted, I can leave and lie down without having to worry about transportation or even putting on shoes. When I put this idea for a blog out on social media, someone also told me that they worried about group interaction when socializing. Because of social anxiety, hearing or vision impairments, ADHD, Autism, you name it, going back to having a more traditional social life can be daunting. Many of us already only had individual friends or a small group of friends who we could feel comfortable with before the pandemic, and living in the reentry period makes that even more stressful.

  3. My mental health will get so much better when we are back in person again. This goes back to the previous point as well. Many of us love our friends and know that we should be excited to go back to some semblance of normalcy post pandemic but change is terrifying, especially for those of us who have experienced trauma in our lives. The anxiety of having to think about all of the executive function it is going to take to go back to "real" life is tremendous. Take, for example, the process of getting out the door to work or school in the morning: eyes open, sit up, meds, clothing, makeup, hair, use the bathroom, brush teeth, pack purse/bag, walk to kitchen, take brita out of the fridge, pour water in water bottle, screw cap on... and the list goes on. Now if you are neurotypical and have never suffered from a mental illness, this may feel like a ridiculous thing to be anxious about (trust me, my own mom thinks it is absurd), but for so many of us, it is a big part of our daily life--I am happy to make a post about how I manage executive dysfunction if people would be interested in that.

  4. I can't wait to travel/go on adventures again and not have to worry about getting sick. Travel is an impossibility for so many disabled and chronically ill people. Some of us need specific diets that are next to impossible to find in many countries; others of us need to keep our blood sugar stable; some of us need a consistent routine in order to keep ourselves stable. And travel, as much as it is lauded as one of the best experiences one can have as a whole, is not often physically accessible or mentally accommodating. For me, airplanes cause my chronic pain to flare, walking on uneven pavement puts me at risk of knee dislocations, and hot climates often result in me passing out, and I am just one disabled and chronically ill person. Others I know struggle with being in crowded places or not having control over their own schedules. I get it, you are excited to travel again. I would be too if I could actually do most of the things that people think of as traveling, but please me mindful of who you are talking to. Many disabled folks couldn't travel pre-pandemic and many can't travel post pandemic.


The gist of this whole post is: don't assume that because your limitations are being lifted, all of ours are too. We were limited before the pandemic, and we will be limited even when restaurants are open again and everyone else is hiking with their friends and flying to Europe. And if you are a disabled person reading this and feeling overwhelmed, I get it. I'm anxious too. My DMs and comment section are a safe space if you want to talk or vent.

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